Summer is a time to hang with community, but now follower counts are the basis for friendships, networking has turned into endless sales pitches, and the cookout is viral content over simple moments. Black communities used to be built in churches, cultural centers and block clubs—spaces that required something of you. If loyalty left with the old institutions, where did it go—and why do so many of us feel the shift but can’t quite name it?
Somewhere between joining the church choir and after-school programs, many of us learned showing up for others wasn’t optional. You volunteered when someone asked. You checked on an elder because they lived down the street. You knew the people on your block, and they knew you. Our communities weren’t perfect, but they expected something from everyone. In return, you had the neighbor you trusted to watch your house, the woman selling dinners to raise money for her child’s activities or someone willing to watch your fur babies while you were on vacation.
“The desire for community has not disappeared because connection is a fundamental human need. What has changed is people’s willingness to accept the work that comes with it,” stated positive psychologist, executive coach and founder of the Positive Psychology Coaching and Diversity Institute Dr. Kiki Ramsey.
“Connection isn’t just something we want—it’s something we need. The truth is, community requires effort.”
Navigating different personalities, conflict and life’s demands isn’t easy, but Ramsey says those moments are what build trust. She believes social media has changed how relationships are valued.
“Visibility is often rewarded immediately, while loyalty is built quietly over time,” she explained. “The danger is that we can begin prioritizing being seen over genuinely seeing and supporting…
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