Tochukwu Ekoh: Does a Woman’s Age Determine When She Gets Married?

Society has established a certain age by which women are expected to get married. As a woman, I have observed and experienced various situations that prompt me to write about this topic.

When a woman reaches her late twenties, the questions and confrontations begin: “You’re getting older. What are you waiting for? Do you have a partner?” By the time she turns 30 and beyond, these inquiries become more frequent, and people start to view her differently. As a woman approaches the end of her 30s, society often looks at her as if something must be wrong because she remains single.

But does age truly determine when someone should get married?

Age, as various experiences have revealed, is not what prepares one for marriage. You have to be psychologically, mentally and emotionally prepared because marriage is about two people coming together, each with different experiences and social ideologies. A person must first know they are ready and open to handling and living with someone else who has a different mental orientation, because that will inform how they communicate, listen, understand and respect each other. These are things that age alone cannot teach one.

People enter marriage carrying many scars and bruises from past relationships or childhood experiences—wounds they’ve not yet healed. These are issues they haven’t fully resolved or found clarity on within themselves, and things they haven’t forgiven themselves for. Yet, they bring these emotional scars into their marriage.

When they meet someone new, that partner has no connection to their past troubles, yet they often end up bearing the pain and burden of those unresolved conflicts. The person we marry inadvertently becomes the…