When Silence Becomes Complicity: The dangerous culture of covering up abuse in Nigeria

There is a question we should be brave enough to ask ourselves: When does protecting a person become protecting a crime?

It is easy to point at the man who beats his wife, the adult who abuses a child, the person accused of rape or the parent who protects an abusive son and say, “That person is the problem.”But what about the people who knew what was happening and told the victim to remain silent? What about the pastor who advised her to keep praying and endure? The relative who begged her not to “destroy the family”? The neighbour who knew a child was being abused but decided it was “a family matter”? The influential person who persuaded a victim to withdraw a complaint?

At some point, we have to confront an uncomfortable truth: a crime does not happen only because of the person who commits it. It can continue because of the people who enable, conceal, excuse or normalise it.

Nigeria has a serious problem with the culture of silence surrounding violence, particularly violence against women and children.

UNICEF reports that six in 10 children in Nigeria experience some form of violence before they reach adulthood, while many never receive support. It also notes that perpetrators are often people the child knows and that violence frequently occurs in places where children should be safest—homes, schools and communities.

These numbers should frighten us.

But statistics alone cannot capture what happens behind closed doors.

There is the young woman whose husband repeatedly beats her, but whenever she seeks help, someone tells her, “Men are naturally polygamous.”

There is the child who tries to tell an adult that…