Talk Your Partner Through It With These Bedroom Tips

Ayeshah Plummer


When you’re intimate, the heat from each other feels like electricity from the tousling over each other, coupled with looking in your partner’s eyes, which causes a natural reaction to squeal or squirm. In those moments, it’s easy to wonder what happens when feelings get too intense, and you need space to express yourself, but don’t know exactly what to say in the bedroom.

What started as a video stitch praising nasty talk after seeing a group of podcasters claim it was “awkward” turned Marcqwan Reid into the guru for talking your partner through it. Using his cinematic, lusty story times, the creator and comedian never shields his viewpoints and creates a space for young men to discuss sex in a blunt but healthy way. Reid says it’s important to have two safety words: one to completely stop and another to eliminate an act. When he receives DMS, he gives tips on ways to engage in mutual consent. 

“Things happen. You can be in the middle of it and then not want to do it anymore, and having the safety words to let you know, ‘Hey, look, I’m not comfortable with this.’ Is also just good to have,” he told EBONY. As a man experienced in degrading and praise kinks, he says both are a spectrum with different intensities. Reid’s DM’s are slammed with questions regarding relationship dynamics. His best advice is to create a bond when shame is nonexistent and to know your partner’s body. 

“My therapist says it’s called talking in the twos and not the ones. Don’t be like, ‘Hey, I want to try this.’ Be like, ‘You know, would you be open to trying this like together?’” he said. “I was talking to this one guy; he was telling me, ‘It’s just easier to make her finish…



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